KRaZy KiK AsS Ko0Ky KrEEpY KaL Of Ko0LNesS

Thursday, February 20, 2003:

Well its me kal, im pretty sure u already new that, i juss got home rite now from about a couple of hours of running, u might be asking why u running kal??? well i dunno, helps relieve anger at the world or something. Well tommorow im going to meet cesar chavez's grand daughter, and thats like wow crazy. Well i thought my freind roy was kiked out of bravo but then he came back, but something happened today and i dont think hes going to ever come back, that so blows. Well the park ranger at skool i heard wants to search me thinking i have narcotics, well all i have to say to that fuken pig popo fuk, that do u really think im so fuken stupid to have that shit on me, or in my locker??? well i doubt he is going to read this but i felt like sayen it. Well i was doing alot of thinking today, and i realized that even though im down i shouldnt resort to doing irrational things, and i shouldnt be so morbid, and depressed all the time. Im sure those people who i loved that have left me god bless them wouldnt want to see me like this. I also need to reinstate myself with god, I dont believe in anything but him, because every quality of life that i valued has died to me, things like love, passion and pride will seize to exist for the time being, and hopefully will return to me, but god is the only thing i have always believed in, and even though I have been cursing him these past weeks, pleading to him asking him why he had caused this pain for me, i realized thats its his or her way of testing me, to see if my faith endures, well i hope it has, im going to continue praying to god everyday like i have done before, and ill look forward to a better future, with no death, or hate. well i have been writing gibberish again the first thing that comes to my mind i write i guess this journal would be more of a free verse page, juss write down what u feel and think as they come to u. Well i guess im off to do some hw or something.

Yours truly
Kal
Kal // 2/20/2003 08:12:00 PM

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Wednesday, February 19, 2003:

Well, hey guys. So like usual i felt like shit today, was all mad at life. So i decided im going to redirect my anger into something productive, i went to pan pacific park and signed up for a mentor program, every saturday im going to pick up 2 brothers and a sister that live somewhere in west hollywood and take em to pan pacific park to play sports with them, and read to them. Ive always been good with kids so this is going to be the ultimate cool thing for me. Well I got a call from my bro in kuwait, he is so cool he told me they are kiken back haven fun in the sun, and told my parents not to worry. Well there gonna just be pushing buttons and bombing innocent people from a safe city in kuwait so im not worried one bit. Well I still feel bad, im tryen to forget the past and move on to recooperate its gonna be a slow process, so dont worry about me guys im gonna be okay. Well my freind isaac told me he had have his toe cut off, and im like damn that sux. Well i dont know what to say, so im gonna leave u guys wit the nonsense i juss wrote
Kal // 2/19/2003 08:22:00 PM

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Tuesday, February 18, 2003:

Hi, well i have come to write again, im not the everyday writter i used to be, and i have been getting complaints!!!! can u believe that people have been fuken emailing me telling me to write more, im like wtf do u think im a fuken loser u has nothing to do but write in this everyday? well i was now im juss a loser who doesnt write in this, so fuken live wit it, find another depresent to read about. Well lets get started off wit my weekend, last friday me and joes kiked it, we wanted to goto montebello and ended up by my crib in the grove (u know behined cbs in the farmers market) welll we had food kiked it, and came back to my crib where we kiked it some more talked about issue, well that day was also valentines day, and its another year without my beloved monica, and i juss had memries of all the years i had spent with her, and that makes me feel like shit even more, if most of u are true freinds u know about the hardships i went through and still am. Well i did give hilda flowers that day, and man are people so fuking nosey or what, everyone is like hey kal who are those flowers for are they for so and so, No fuk u, and if they are why do u give a shit get out of my face, damn stupid fuks come up to me acten like they are my freinds and i dont even know them, well i got her flowers because i didnt want her to go another year without flowers, most of u think im hitting on her, but no im not but im pretty sure u guys dont believe me so fuken interpret it the way u want, well that day when we got home my momz forced me to goto indio with her (thats 32 miles behined palm springs) well i fought with her and she won so i agree to go, but then the next day it starts of with a fight so im like fuk u, i take all my keys, and some 600 bux i had on me, and walked around to roam the streets sensely by the time i got back home it was 5 in the afternoon saturday, i find them gone, and i cant believe they would leave without me, so to get even i fuken hitchhike all the way to indio starts off with a truker named john who i met at a norms resturant who was heading towards ontario so im like hell ya, and they guys is pretty cool and hes getting married to his girl pretty soon, (wish u all the luck john) so we talk then get to ontario and i was walken around there and man i found some chik who was on a road trip and she was broke i mean no cash at all and she couldnt fill up her car, so i spot her like 15 bux in gas and gave her 20 juss for her to be safe on the road, in return for a ride to riverside, so she take me her name was monica, It was weird talken to a girl named after ur X gf, was juss odd, well yea she is a college student from cuesta college, up north in san luis obispo, and she was heading to somewhere in colorado, so yeah she was cool. So in riverside expecting to find my bro so he can give me a ride to indio, only to find out that fuken parents took him, so here i am stuck in riverside, so i end up walking on the side of the high way felt like it was 3000 miles but was prolly like 4 miles, till i came upon a rest, and i find myself a gray hound bus in route to Indio california im like OMG it cant get any better then this, the driver let me on, after i bought a tiket from him, he on the other hand was a dick i hated his fuken ass his name was melvin, but im coo he actually let me on, he couldve left me on that rest looken for another ride. So i find myself at Indio sunday at like 1 in the morning as then i walk around till i found the royal plaza inn, im like Sweet dude cuz my parents are staying there, they were in room 138 i took room 151 which is right acroos from my parents room, so yah they wake up in the morning to find me going FUK U, in their face telling em i got to indio without them stupid fuks, well yeah i goto the riverside county fair, kiked it there was pretty cool actually except for the fact i was being stalked by the police (gang task force) they were the guys dressed up like swat holding their MP5 Navy SD 5.56mm walkin around looking all sweet. So yah i meet up wit this one chik, i didnt really like her, but i thought she was fuken hot, i know she didnt like me but she saw that i was so fuken rich (im not im a janitor for christ sake!!!!), so u know we get together and ill leave the rest of the story for u to put togeher through your own imagination. So while i getting back to the room, i see this couple who are like ill give u 100 bux to jump into the pool with all my cloths on, Im like okay hell ya, so i do it, juss take my cloth put them in the dryer, cost me 1 buk, and went to sears bought me some jeans and a T shirt for like $20.50 and ended up wit an income of $78.50, and i was like sweet, easiest hundred i made, well turned out John and Susana the couple were at the casinos that day and with 20 bux they won some 6000 bux, and im like wow. So yah a whole mess more happens and i dont remember, i kiss hug make up wit my parents, and take the camry home (I drove, sweet) well, i drove took the 60 to riverside dropped my bro off and then the 60 to La which became the 10 then took the 110 got home around 9, took me hour 45 min at an average speed of 85 to get home while it took my dad some 3 hours to get there going at like 50 or something, well i have been blessed in my opinion ive been driving for a year and a half now (legaly) and about 2 years (illegaly) and i have always speed and so far i havent died or gotten one tiket and im like sweetness dude. So yah i get home at 9, of course i was in a pissed off mood, like the usual kal i am, remembering friday, valentines day remembering monica my old gf, and how much i loved her (and still do) well nothing i could do about it, shes gone for good. Well i beg my dad to let me use the isuzu (even though it is my own car) and he said yes, so i drove it to isaac house got their at like 7:15 piked him up, went to savon and bought gum batteries and a nail clipper since i forgot to clip my nails before i left home, well i drove to six flags took the 110 then 170 then the I-5 then got off on magic pkwy, got to six flags a like 8:15 the 2nd car in the line of the parking withen like 30 more min i looked back and a row of cars are waiting to be let in, by the hundreds stood behined us, so about 9:30 they open the gates i was the first car let in tho the parking but i got burned by some dude in a blue acura wit a v6, which is more than enough for my 1.3 cylinder 40 beaver power isuzu (its a 4 cylinder with about 80 hp). so yah im the 2nd car to park on the tram ride to magic mountain i see shabaz then, slowly 1 by 1 all the bravo peeps appear, and bam ride open me and isaac burst in front of everyone to X, we end up going on its 2nd launch, and man was that shit fun or what? well yeah we kik it x deja vu goliath batmans riddlers, went on them all, everytime i kiked it wit new peeps, first was me and isaac then it was me and henry then, me and the russians, then shabaz, i kiked it wit some azn's too, then the black peeps nbk, ricky, and alagy at the end i was kiken it wit henry cesar and hilda, that kinda suked because i was juss sitten there like a dumbass not sayen anything at all, well yah with 12 bux i won me a giant snake (I mean super giant) a small snake, a rat, and a penguin. Im like a god on those games at 6 flags even though they are rigged!!! Well day ends, i take isaac tamara vanessa and henry home, stopped by mcdonalds we all got a bite to eat, and i dropped them off and lukily for em the juss happened to live on the opposite sides of the earth (perfectly convenient aint it???) well i was cool i had nothing better to do, man the funny ass thing is that isaac was feeding me french fries while i was driving and the kethup was all over my face while tamara whipped my face, cuz i was drivng i couldnt eat, well it doesnt sound funny but if u were there u wouldve craked up. Well i got home at like 9, already sick from like 2 days before, and tired as fuk from senior piknik, i juss went to sleep (screw work), come to skoo today, my freind isaac b day, Happy b day man (hes 18 and single now when he has sex he will be called a statory rapist (did i speel it rite??). So yah im tired as fuk, and after skoo i got fuked up!!!! wit some hommies (no names will be provided for their protection) and then we got the munchies like mad so i treat everyone for chinese food, and then i we goto the donut store bought a dozen of donuts which we also finish off (there were only four of us and enough food for like 300 peeps) so yah i totaly blew off my eating once every 3 days kal diet lol. So i come home sleep do hw, and wake up to write all this nonsense. Man these past days ive been really feeling like shit, but now well today at least, i feel as is my life is a routine of everyday torment, juss live every day as a robot with no emotions always doing the same thing. school, work then school then work, and top ot off with some more school? i ask my self why the fuk is all this for??? i dunno. Well yeah im not feeling depressed im juss feelinmg nothing now, its weird its not i even care anymore, today on the bus ride home i saw this small kid get his ass beat up, i normally would stand up for the little guys, but i dont care he couldve gotten killed and i wouldnt of given a shit, well maybe this is a part of growing up, or maybe after surving depression for a long time u go through the stage of not giving a fuk anymore, well im new to this concept of life, and who knows it might get better. Well im off to work out, work or goto school thats all i ever do, thank u for taking the time and patience to read about my lifem have a nice day :)
Kal // 2/18/2003 08:29:00 PM

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